Since I came under fire yesterday after I posted on Facebook that I didn't care for the second season of Stranger Things, I figured I'd write a critique to justify my position. I've studied horror movies for about 40 years now, have published three horror novels and many stories, am a member of the Horror Writers Association, and wrote my master's thesis on contemporary horror fiction. Yes, that makes me an authority in the field. That doesn't mean you have to agree with me, of course. You're welcome to follow along with the rest of the sheeple and blindly agree with what the media tells you to like. I prefer to have a mind of my own.
MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT!
DON'T CONTINUE TO READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN SEASON TWO OF STRANGER THINGS!
Here are my complaints in no particular order:
1. Season 2 (S2) isn't scary at all. Keep in mind, I had just finished re-watching Season 1 (S1) the night before the premiere, so I was totally caught up. S1 scared the shit out of me, especially the scene where Joyce (Winona Ryder) strings up all those Christmas lights and the demogorgon tears through the wall to attack her. I had goosebumps all over and the hair stood up on the back of my neck. Kind of like what happened a dozen times when I saw the movie adaptation of IT last month. That's what horror is supposed to do above all else, create a sense of fear and dread. That never happens for me in S2. Not once. In fact, anything intended to be scary, and there's very little, makes me roll my eyes or shake my head.
2. S2 has no human villain. This is a huge problem. All horror fans know that the human element is always more frightening than the supernatural one. That's why Dr. Brenner (Matthew Modine) works so well in S1. He's pure evil. Considerably worse than even the terrifying demogorgon. All we get in S2 is Billy (Dacre Montgomery), and he's an asshole (with a meager justification not provided until the second to last episode). He certainly isn't evil.
3. The heroes do nothing. This might piss me off the most. Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) goes on an unnecessary quest to unravel her past. That could've been wrapped up in about five minutes. If they wanted to keep her separate from the group this season, here's a more exciting idea: have her fight her way out of the Upside Down where she disappeared at the end of S1. Or, I don't know, maybe she could've battled the Shadow Monster. You remember that swirling mountain of mist or smoke (or whatever the fuck it was) that does absolutely nothing through nine episodes but kill pumpkins and possess Will (Noah Schnapp)? And what about Mike (Finn Wolfhard)? What happened to his character this season? He was my favorite of S1 but does absolutely nothing in this one. Neither does Joyce. The unraveling and lunacy of her character in S1 creates so much dramatic tension, completely missing in S2. Chief Hopper (David Harbour) also does nothing. After a few episodes of investigating those horrifying dead pumpkins (sarcasm, folks), he gets wrapped up by deadly underground vines (VINES! Can you believe it? VINES! How frightening! - that's more sarcasm), and then spends the rest of the season at Will's bedside doing nothing. It's as if S1 was inspired by all the best elements of Stephen King's novels but S2 used all his worst.
4. Mad Max (Sadie Sink) should've been Eight. That would've created so much more dramatic tension, especially since Eleven was jealous of her. They could've eliminated that whole fucking Scooby Gang in Chicago and just made Billy part of a group of local thugs. That would've made him considerably more nasty and given Mad Max a bigger reason to keep her distance from him. As it is now, Eight (Linnea Berthelsen) does nothing in the story at all. She's completely unlikable. Why put her in there? Does Eleven really need another bad example to teach her right from wrong? Doesn't Hopper's screaming at her give her enough of that? And, by the way, what is with his borderline child abuse anyhow? Hopper sure has a terrifying way of showing how much he loves Eleven. That's the most frightening element of the entire season.
5. The fucking pollywog that becomes a demodog. I can't even begin to describe how fucking absurd this is. Plus, where did all the other demodogs come from? Are we to assume that Will isn't the only one who comes back from the Upside Down coughing up slugs? If so, where are all the rest? Is that overly maniacal and dastardly ferocious Shadow Monster possessing them as well? Where? When?
6. Deus ex machina. Somehow, Eleven magically realizes that her friends are in trouble and she needs to save them. Yes, Eleven spends a lot of time in her surreal black pool that's part The Dead Zone, part The Shining added to her part Carrie, part Firestarter abilities. Fine. You want her to be the savior dropping down like the machine of the gods in Ancient Greek theatre? Cool. Make her fight something. All she does is hold up her hands and close some nightmarish CGI gate that doesn't even kill that tornado of pain and horror, the Shadow Monster. How ridiculous!
7. How many of us didn't guess that Bob (Sean Astin) would die? Come on. Tell the truth. We all loved Bob. His name even sounds like Barb. We all loved her. Of course, he was going to die. Fine. Horror needs fodder. Why didn't he die sooner? Why didn't anyone else die? Killing Barb (Shannon Purser) so early in S1 was fucking terrifying and bad-ass. Remember that pool scene? It's unforgettable and scary as hell. Maybe they could've killed Mr. Clarke (Randall P. Havens), the AV schoolteacher, early in S2? He does nothing in this season and already earned our respect and adoration during S1. That would've unnerved everyone the way Barb's death did. Exactly what S2 needs. But, wait a minute, how could the Shadow Monster have killed Mr. Clarke that early anyhow? It doesn't do anything but spread slimy goo on trees, kill pumpkins, and grow underground vines.
I could go on. (How about Dr. Owens, played by Paul Reiser, found wounded on the staircase? Why wasn't he killed? Did the demodogs just figure they'd taste him and leave him alone?) Believe me, I love Stranger Things. That's what makes me so angry. Watching sixteen hours over the last few days made the characters seem like family. Made Hawkins seem like my hometown. The Duffer Brothers went to high school nearby in Durham and I work with their drama teacher, so I even have a personal connection to the show. But it's like they phoned in this season just to capitalize on the success of their first. I wished they would've stopped after Eleven killed the demogorgon. We didn't need what they gave us in S2. At least I didn't.
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